How do you fancy an ultramarathon?

Hey skinny bitch, I’m about to make your day.

You can’t lose weight with exercise alone. It’s a physiological impossibility. 

Exercise, even reasonably strenuous exercise, burns bugger all energy in comparison to sitting on your arse all day. It’s a true story. 

Exercise also screws with your hormones, in particular suppressing your satisfaction hormone and increasing your hunger hormone and if any of you have tried not to cry at the end of Point Break while menopausal, you’ll know just how pointless fighting your hormones is.

Any increase in energy needs that exercise might temporarily install is quickly negated by the body’s innate desire for stasis. If there is anything that we’re all bloody awesome at, it’s staying the same. If anyone needed a new age change facilitator, it’s your fat cells. They simply detest letting go. Which means to continue to lose weight from exercise you have to keep going further and faster and a galloping housewife simply can’t be doing that.

That’s not to say that exercise is useless – far from it. If you want to change your shape and stay mobile and pain free and keep healthy and increase your cardio vascular capacity and your bone density and prevent injury, then exercise is the key. If you want to boost your basal metabolic rate so that you get skinny while you sleep, have I got some tips and tricks for you.

But if you’re wanting to lose weight, you’d better be keen on the ultramarathon.

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