how to love yourself

If there was one thing you could do to improve your life, it would be to learn to love yourself. To actively practice self-love.

Self-love and self-acceptance, having a true appreciation of self-worth are vital for physical health, mental health, emotional health, financial health, social health. Yet, as a demographic, middle aged women tend to be completely crap at this.

We are incredibly hard on ourselves. We constantly judge ourselves and look at the areas where we could improve. We put conditions on liking ourselves.

We will like the way we look when we lose some weight. We will be proud of our parenting when we stop losing our temper when our kids frustrate us. We will be worthy of admiration when we win the competition. We will be lovable when we are successful in our career, or when we have the perfect home.

A valid need for improvement does not preclude the ability to love ourselves. In fact, if we truly appreciate who we are, we will always want to be the best version of ourselves.

Self-love happens when we treat ourselves with the same care and respect that we treat those around us that we cherish.

Your best friend could lose some weight. Of course, this doesn’t affect the way that you feel about them. You’d never judge them if they decided to eat that chocolate cake. Why would you berate yourself for doing the same.

Your kid could be more organised. You know that they’d find class so much easier if they planned their assignments and stuck to the schedule. Yet you also know that’s not the way their brain works. They’re exasperating, but still completely lovable. Think about this the next time you misplace the car keys.

Your sister misses out on a job she set her heart on. You have nothing but compassion for her. You know she is amazing and capable of incredible things. Have this in mind next time you fail at something big.

Your coach and mentor gets eliminated at the show. You know it was a single error, a bad day at the office, or even a bad judgement call about how well they were prepared. They will come back better and stronger, and it certainly doesn’t negate their ability. Are you as kind to yourself when you don’t perform to your ability?

Self-love doesn’t mean you couldn’t do better. Self-love doesn’t mean that you are arrogant or conceited or think you are without fault. Self-love means that you understand that you’re a pretty cool person, exactly how you are.

Learn to love yourself. Practice self-love. It will change your life.

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