She can't do it for you

The most popular request the galloping housewife has, by numbers of email received,  is writing a diet and exercise programme for a galloping housewife.

You know the kind. The ones we used to buy the Cosmo for. A list of exactly what to eat and exactly what to do. Half a grapefruit and black coffee for breakfast, a boiled egg for morning tea, a salad for lunch, a handful of almonds for the afternoon snack and broiled chicken and steamed broccoli for dinner (broccoli, why is it always broccoli??) A walk in your lunch break and a callisthenics class on the way home in the evening.

OK, now her 80’s is showing, but you get the drift.

Thankfully the magazines have stopped printing these ‘drop a dress size and murder your best friend in a week’ atrocities, but the bookshelves at the local bookstore not to mention the internet are still full of them. If you’re female and between 15 and 50, it’s likely your newsfeed include many targeted adverts.

The problem is these programmes don’t crack the Skinny Bitch Code. You might lose a bit of weight or get a bit fitter and stronger while you follow them to the letter, but no one can do that forever. And in the meantime, they are doing damage to your metabolism and your hormones that can take years to repair.

They don’t give you the knowledge to make a plan that is long term and sustainable. They don’t take into consideration your particular tastes and demands and resources. They don’t give you the information you need to repair the bits of your physiology that a modern diet and a modern lifestyle have broken. They don’t outline the facts that are pertinent to your individual requirements.

You are a smart woman. The galloping housewife knows that if she gives you the material, you can figure out what to do with it. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know what will and won’t work for you. You know which bits you need to heal, which bits you need to improve, which bits you need to nurture, which bits you like.

The galloping housewife also knows that you are a galloping housewife just like her. She knows that you don’t want to starve. She knows that you want to spend time training your horse, not your muscles. She knows you don’t have the inclination to traipse all around town looking for obscure ingredients and you certainly don’t have the inclination to prepare different meals for different household members. She knows you’re lazy and fussy and busy.

This is why she’s written the Skinny Bitch Code.

A programme writing course is on the horizon. The galloping housewife would love to get alongside you and help you create your perfect self-care and health plan. But it’s got to be led by you. And it’ll be so much easier if you already knew the stuff in the Skinny Bitch Code.

The galloping housewife can’t do it for you. She can be here for you. She can guide you and she can teach you. She can show you just how easy it can be. But she can’t do it for you.