We know that a lot of people are concerned with privacy and stuff, so we’d like to keep you informed about what we collect, where we store it, what we do with it and what to do if you don’t like it.
The data we collect.
It’s kind of obvs, but when you fill in any form on our site we collect that information. We also have some cookies on the site that don’t collect anything personal, but just track your ‘behaviour’.
How we use it.
To send you the stuff you sign up for, like newsletters. And contact you to tell you you’ve won stuff. In the future the cookies might mean that you get some targeted advertising down the side of your Facebook feed and some other sites. You know how you happen to disappear down a rabbit hole online one day and end up on a website selling a holiday you’ll never be able to afford because, well, horses, and then you get tortured by pictures of people lying on beaches drinking cocktails when you’re up to your knees in mud and struggling to defrost your fingers to open the gate and feed your bloody horses? Yeah, that’s cookies. We won’t be sending you holiday ads though. Cookies also make using the website easier so you don’t have to sign in every time you visit if you want to access the member only parts. They’re honestly great things. Not quite chocolate chip cookie great, but still good. You can block cookies if you like, but parts of our website won’t work for you if you do.
We will only share it to third parties like the businesses who manage our advertising and send you the stuff you sign up for. No one else. Your data is not for sale.
Where we keep it.
Your data is kept securely online. It’s properly encrypted. Hell, half the time we can’t even access it because we’ve forgotten the password… again. We’ll keep it for as long as this website is live or the particular ‘thing’ that you signed up for, runs. If you send us money at any stage, we’ll keep a record of you stored for seven years in case the government comes after us for any reason. After this we’ll have a ceremonial burning. (Actually, we’ll just permanently delete it, but you get the idea.)
If you don’t like us anymore.
Just opt out. Simples. We’ll delete your stuff.
If you are paranoid, you have the right to ask us what we have on you, have us make corrections to that, ask us to delete all or any of your data, ask us to stop sending you whatever it is that is getting on your goat, or ask us to send it somewhere else. At any time. Just email us at email@example.com and we’ll get it done. The rules are within one month, but we’re quicker than that.
If you’re really upset with us and our policy and think we’ve broken any rules you need to get in touch with the Information Commissioners Office – ico.org.uk